Guava Tart

Lineage: (Ancient Mango Haze x Cosmic Cookie Dough)

Classification: Indica-Dominant Hybrid (70% Indica / 30% Sativa)

THC Profile: Classified (Reportedly exists between $25\%\text{ and }32\%$)

👃 Aromatic Manifestation (The Scent)

Guava Tart's bouquet is a confounding paradox. It begins with a sharp, unsettling sweetness—the aroma of bruised guava pulp left to ripen under a mercury lamp. This is immediately followed by a deep, earthy foundation, reminiscent of a crypt overgrown with sweet basil and damp, forgotten minerals. The final note is a fleeting, metallic whisper of high-voltage electricity and toasted pine nuts.

👅 Flavor Profile (The Terpene Journey)

The flavor is a multi-phase descent. The inhale is pure, overripe fruit, a cloying, tropical rush that stains the palate gold. The exhale introduces a robust, surprising counter-flavor of old-school hashish and black pepper, suggesting a complex terpene profile dominated by Caryophyllene and Myrcene, while simultaneously containing a high concentration of the elusive, nearly mythical Guavanese Ester.

✨ Psychoactive Effects (The Experience)

Guava Tart is not for the faint of mind. It bypasses the head high entirely, initiating the experience as a "gravitational field inversion." Users report feeling profoundly heavier, as if the pull of the Earth has been amplified specifically for them, melting them into the nearest soft surface.

The onset is marked by an immediate, full-body sensory occlusion—a warm, cotton-wool dampening of external stimuli. Thoughts slow down to the pace of tectonic drift. Creative insights, though rare, arrive as fully formed, pre-packaged philosophical concepts that disappear upon verbalization.

This strain is a powerful nocturnal agent, inducing a state of deep, non-euphoric calm suitable for extreme relaxation, contemplation of simple geometry, and the deep, restorative sleep necessary after a long session of defying causality.

Warning: May cause profound couch-lock, temporal distortion, and an insatiable desire for strange, high-calorie snacks. Do not operate heavy machinery, or attempt to discern the true nature of reality, after consumption.